Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
