when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
