By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Randomize
