I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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