Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Found the puke drawer
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
