is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
