I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize
