i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Randomize
