omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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