I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
