Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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