didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
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