is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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