I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
