Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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