Who did Billy Mays play for?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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