Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Randomize
