I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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