i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Randomize
