i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
