He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
