ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
wow bdsm is so cute
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
