just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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