i permit you to call me
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
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