you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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