I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
