just come out here and I will go home with you...
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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