The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize