I'm passing your future prison.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
