five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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