Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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