so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
