toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
