I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
