do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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