His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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