well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
