Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
