Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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