Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Randomize
