whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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