I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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