We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
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