We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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