I'm really into asian looking animals
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
