Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize
