sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
