Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
His hands were made for my vagina.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize