i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize