u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Duck Duck Cougar?
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
