Taylor Swift is so right about you.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
