I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
