i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
