i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
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