i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
