So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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