you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
