I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
