I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
