Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize