summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
