on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
