You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
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