You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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